Crazy Nostalgia Regret

99% sure I lost my mind a long time ago.Let's face it...I'm moody, crazy, well just an emotional roller coaster for sure, but that's okay. This last weekend I recovered my old cedar chest of memories as I call it from dad's house. Well it included a whole bunch of stuff from school I saved from friends. I saved some wood burning projects my old guy friends did and some English book covers the whole class did for some project in middle school. I realize that some things should be kept, remember and not forgotten. If not a certain exact memory but that feeling of nostalgia when everything was so simple. I would never go back to high school. There was a lot of horrible decisions and family things that happened during that time that I would never repeat or want relive. Just those moments where I bonded with another human being that I miss so much. Being an adult is way better so far, even with the money,friends, and relationships...its complicated but in different ways. I don't wish to go back but sometimes I just wonder what the heck was I thinking. Maybe that's the point though, the point of being young (i'm still young) is just not thinking and jumping feet first into everything. I miss not having regrets about things because now I see all the shit that I did wrong and it replays all the time over and over. How would things be different, if I just treated people different? For instance, If I had just stayed living at home through my parents crazy ass divorce thing that lasted for the last two years of my high school years, maybe I could've been there when Pop's was sick. Would it have made a difference? I'm not who I was then though. I mean if me from today could go back tomorrow I could have handled it better. Stayed with my family, kept friends that I treated bad, but I guess I wouldn't be me now? I wouldn't have the guilt, shame, or regret. I wouldn't be able to process situations like I do now. If i ditch this person or ignore them or if I flirted with a guy for few days...how it would effect my relationship. But I did those things then so I could figure out how to take care of what I want now, right? At least that's my final decision on it all.