All the Shows that I have seen every episode...or at least every episode on HULU or Netflix

COLD HARD TRUTH

Since no one reads this anyways and everything's just been eating me up inside...what does it matter if I post this on the internet.
"These words are my diary screaming outloud"
"We can live like jack and sally if we want"
"Don't mess with imperfection"
"I'm a b****, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother, I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed. I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between, you know you wouldn't want it any other way"

BAD/SAD---   

Alright let's start with something that bothers me everyday. My weight. I used to be skinny now I'm overweight. Everyone says not worry about it but who doesn't worry about it right? I blame laziness but in truth it was part laziness/ and a whole part of birth controls pills that put the pounds on so fast I cant count. I would love to look at my back and again and not see rolls, you know? Also, I dislike how I don't have a single talent in the world. I dislike that I'm self centered and typing about myself right this moment but I can't seem to stop. Honestly, I get so sad sometimes in just like five flat second that I wonder if I have some weird form of depression. I was born in Florida and I dislike that I've lived my entire life in Arkansas and don't even remember the beach. Some how that whole concept seems ironic. I think I'm a geek girl but truthfully this whole site is probably a shame to someone because I haven't watched a ton of Sailor Moon or I'm not into Japanese things...yet (give me time). I'm 21 and I just started to figure it out in the last three years how much of a geek I really am or at least want to be. Also, I care way too much about what others think of me or what I should think of myself. I dislike how I can't just be happy with myself and I have these crazy ups and downs. Sometimes I wonder if I'm in a relationship and married to my husband because he's safe and good partner and maybe I'm just living my life just a little in to boredom. Sometimes I'm afraid that all my life is going to be is stuck in this little Podunk town and I'm never getting out. Although I'm afraid of that....It drives me crazy that every opportunity I've ever head to leave this place I get sucked right back in and this phobia of leaving this place takes over me. I'm afraid that I can't just be happy so I can't enjoy this lovely life I've have or maybe I really should be reaching for more. I really thought I would go off to some big fancy college and find something I really enjoy doing, but I got married and had to quit going to college in my second year at stupid community college on top it all because the bills had to be paid and I was tired of living in a cruddy apartment next to drug dealers. Maybe I'm like insane asylum crazy and I just can't figure it out anymore and my husband won't tell and none of my three only existing friends understand. I'm afraid one day I'm just going to say screw it all and all these few years have been a waste of my time.

GOOD/HAPPY- 

I may not love my body but in truth I love my personality. I've spent my entire last five years trying to figure out who I am. Am I country? Which is how I was raised but I only like riding horses so that doesn't mean I have to be cowgirl or shoot animals. I'm so sick and tired of having to prove to other people who I am or what I dress like. I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one. Am I emo/goth? I tried that whole scene for a year or so while in high school but then I gained whole bunch of weight and whole bucket load of self consciences to go with it so I stopped wearing colorful skinny jeans and cutting my hair in so many layers. I don't think I'm any of these labels. If I had to label my self....I'm a Geek. I like to ride horses. I save spiders and wasps and free them outside because nothing but a gnat deserves to die. I respect correct grammar but I'm not very good at that. I love different things, different people, and different places. I try to balance being responsible and leading with my heart. I'm nerd when it comes to reading books but not when it comes to "being a genius." I like dorky things and I like to cry about my feelings. I love almost everyone I meet but sometimes people make it hard to be me. I want to see more of the world and honestly I would appreciate it if my husband and I could move to the ends of the earth so I know longer had to deal with family anymore. (take my two younger brothers with me of course because they're awesome). I love Pinterest, quotes, and colorful things. I used to like World of Warcraft (I was not very good) but then it became lame. I like Guild Wars now and Sims 3. I love fantasy romances and Harry Potter and Game of Thrones and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I also really like My Little Pony. I have curves and I want to lose the weight but I really would rather drink a cup of coffee and play GW then go run a frieking mile. After this long rant...I'm okay with me. I love me. I love other people too. But I love me and I'm awesome.